Judging another book by it's cover

My daughter brought home another gem today in her Book Baggie. I will comment on it before reading it because it is way more fun that way.

Alternate Titles:

1. Mr. James waits for his Hustler Magazine
2. A letter from the Probation Officer
3. What to do when your prison pen pal stops writing you
4. How to tamper with your neighbors mail (and how NOT to get caught!)
5. Mr. James sends anthrax to his congressman
6. Mr. James mistakes his mailbox for a loaf of bread again
7. How to look 20 years younger by dying your mustache brown
8. Mr. James learns about mail bombs the hard way
9. Mr James finds his glasses on his forehead, not in the mailbox

Life isn't fair

I filled up the gas tank at $2.89/gallon this week. You jerks in Ohio are paying less than $2.

Finally

I have been convinced that either Ding Ding's kindergarten teacher hates me or she is incredibly disorganized/overworked and really isn't communicating like I expected her to. I believe it is the latter. The teacher has always been nice and mentions every time she sends a newsletter home that she needs parent volunteers. I don't actually want to deal with that many children, but I have volunteered to help about 300 times. She says she is compiling a schedule and will contact us. I have never been contacted.

I have talked to the teacher about some issues that make me feel like an over involved parent.

1. Ding Ding complained that the teacher thought she couldn't read. I discussed it with the teacher over an email and the teacher told me that Ding Ding was assessed at a specific reading level which she was reading 2 years ago. It made me laugh and also made me wonder if Ding Ding is actually getting to read anything at school. Soon after, I find out that Ding Ding was moved to a higher reading group and started bringing home great books like "The Ha Ha Powder". It just took a month longer than I expected.

2. Ding Ding had a terrible fear of being trapped in the bathroom if she shuts the door when she uses it. I talked to the teacher face-to-face about this problem and all that happened was that Ding Ding was trapped in the bathroom when the teacher forgot about her. We worked on this problem at home and is not a problem. Ding Ding is still locked in the bathroom occasionally and now waits patiently while the other kids do puzzles.

3. I came into the school to help solve my daughter's lunch issues where she seemed to be unable to choose "main lunch" for fear of having to eat cole slaw or green beans. It was embarrassing, but I don't think that I'll ever have to do it again.

4. This weekend, Ding Ding was whining that she wanted me to send a juice for her snack time. I told her NO and I sent a water bottle to school and water is good for her. She said the top to her water bottle fell on the floor by the water fountain and it was lost. I asked if the teacher knew about it. Yes, the teacher was informed of this problem. I asked her if we could get the top back if we looked. YES! I suspected the overworked nature of this teacher previously and I walked over to school, made my way through "security" (the main office) and completely surprised the teacher by finding the top with her help of course. She was very apologetic and explained that Ding Ding refused to drink from the water bottle without the correct top. I apologized that my child is touched in the head and would rather dehydrate than change her routine and drink from a bottle without the top.

During my last trip to the school, the teacher again asked me if I was available to volunteer. I enthusiastically said yes (again) and I was available anytime (as usual). I would even love to cut things out for her if she needs it. Cutting things out is more of what I would rather help with! The teacher got all excited and was really happy to hear that I could do this work at home. Woo Hoo! I might be able to help this teacher become a bit less overworked and may, just may, make that parent vounteer schedule before Christmas.

This is her first year teaching Kindergarten and I don't envy her. I just was not ready for a teacher with not enough time to pester the parents. I hear other parents getting weekly reports about their child's progress and I get a newsletter that says she needs H-E-L-P! Maybe she actually needs help to make the schedule to get the helpers in the class so she can let the little ones out of the bathroom.

Bottom line is that Ding Ding love love loves her teacher. Ding Ding is actually drawing pictures and her handwriting has come so far in the last 2 months. She has made friends and doesn't seem like a social outcast. Her school pictures came out good too! The one in the green shirt is the real school picture, the one in the striped shirt is when I took her to Wal-Mart for their 30 zillion pictures for $5 deal the night before school pictures. I have my 30 zillion ones from Wal-Mart, but should I order more of the other one? Nick really seems to like it more, but in the long run, I don't think he cares that much. Any opinions?

Should I order more copies of the picture on the left?
	Order more. The picture on the left is far superior.
	Indifferent. Both pictures are fine.
	Don't order more. The one on the right is better.
	Your child is ugly and you should burn all photos of her.
pollcode.com free polls

More Questions and Answers

Yesterday was so informative, I made a questionnaire to learn a little bit more about mi hija. Her homework gets really boring sometimes, this was a nice way to spice it up a bit!

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Football Player (surprise surprise!!)

What time do you want to get up in the morning?
6:00 (it keeps getting earlier and earlier. this morning she got me up at 5:52)

Write 3 things you want for your birthday
New england Pats helmet

A webkinz buffalo
Ball State jersy

What is your favorite store?
hallmark (where you can buy Webkinz)

What is the scariest thing ever?
zombes (zombies are scarier than vampires? news to me!)

What is your favorite food?
Popcicle

What is the worst food?
Brokly

What college do you want to go to?
Ball State

What is your favorite part of school?
playgrond

Which is better? Winter or Summer?
both

Why?
i like playing in the snow. i like plaing in the pool.

Interrogation

I admit it, I like to interrogate my daughter. She is 6 and I like to know what she is thinking. She is not a really great conversationalist because she much prefers talking to the Playstation or her mini football helmet collection.

My daily question/answer sessions usually include the following questions:

1. How was school today?
2. Did anyone go to the nurse?
3. Was anyone bad today?
4. Who was absent today?

She hates these questions, but they are now a habit at dinnertime. Today was especially boring so I kept asking and asking and asking.

Q: Are there any bad kids in the class?
A: Yes, ****** (name removed for privacy) but he's gooder now.

Q: Are there any quiet kids in class?
A: Yes ******* she doesn't say anything.

Q: Are there any smarty pants in class that know everything and raise their hand a lot?
A: Yes, that is Me. (Nerd Alert!)

Q: Mrs. ******** told me you were bad, what did you do? (I was lying and trying to get her to confess to anything)
A: No, I didn't do anything.

Now I want to know what she thinks of me. School turned out to be a painfully boring subject.

Q: What is MY favorite thing to do?
A: Clean up.

Q: What is Dad's favorite thing to do?
A: Ask him.

Okay, this is going NOWHERE! My kid needs a trip to Toastmasters.

She did tell me they are working on counting backward at school and her friends go 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 and then they all scream BLAST OFF!! And they make sound effects. She says that she hates the "Blast Off" part and covers her ears. She said it "S"-word.

I inquire to what "S"-word she was talking about. The child is really interested in bad words these days. She spelled S-U-C-K-S.

Election Day

Ding Ding clearly favors Barack Obama. She says he "looks good". I am trying my hardest to explain that both candidates are good people and they just have different plans for our country. I want her to know that it is okay to vote for whoever you want. So I show her a friend's MySpace page that has our friend at a Sarah Palin rally. I told her "look here's our friend at a Palin rally because" "SHE'S CRAZY!" Ding Ding interrupts. This might be a losing battle.

I begged her not to argue with her friends at school. Apparently there was an argument at school about whether or not Jesus died on the cross. I have repeated several times that we generally don't discuss politics or religion at school. She knows her school does not have a religious affiliation like pre-school did and she should keep her flippin mouth shut.

This morning I woke up Nick and Ding Ding at 5:30am to hit the polls soon after they opened at 6. Ding Ding was excited but had to race to the computer to cast her vote first on BuildaBearville.com for Bearemy.

We made it to the fire hall and I made a comment about how it was different from Ohio because the polling location was not divided by precinct. It ended up being secretly divided without any signs, because we ended up standing in 3 different lines until we found our names in the book. The poll workers here in New York are just as incompetent and grumpy as they are in Ohio! We finally got in the old fashioned voting booth with the big lever and curtain, Ding Ding and I voted first things went fine. Then Nick and Ding Ding went in and Ding Ding was very vocal in her opinions about Barack Obama. Despite their space aged appearance, those voting booths are not soundproof and Nick was embarrassed.

Halloween

This is Ding Ding doing her "drills" before Trick-Or-Treating.

Halloween was pretty uneventful. Ding Ding only passed on 3 "scary" houses and did not freak out about any costumes. We now know that Ding Ding is not a total nerd at school yet she actually has friends. She got to trick-or-treat with our neighbors down the block for awhile, after they gave up she found a little boy in her class and they finished off the street together. After he went home we found a little girl from her class. That was neat because that girl is waaaay taller than Ding Ding. She also found 2 or 3 other kids from her class to get all excited to see (like she didn't just see them 5 hours ago).

Here are the pictures. Ding Ding posing in her Bills Costume with the Ohio State Pumpkin and then her trick or treating pumpkin.

Here is the candy we collected. No overabundance of yuck candy and we got a full-sized M&M's, Crunch Bar and Twix.