In the nuts

We are now done with watching the Olympics. Every time they roll around, I swear I don't care and I have much better things to do. Every time I am wrong. I sit in front of the television watching sports that I don't give two farts about. The Vancouver games were much more easy on my schedule than those dang Bejing ones. I only stayed up past midnight once to see Men's Figure Skating this year. The Bejing games, I was up many a night watching gymnastics and swimming.

We watched the Men's Hockey game. The U S and A lost to the Canadians. Tom was REALLY REALLY outraged. She said she hates Canada and she would like to kick Sidney Crosby in the nuts. How ladylike Tom! Do you even know where the nuts are? She said yes and pointed to her crotch and proudly proclaimed that it hurts boys the most in the nuts.

My little girl is growing up!

Dick's

I spend a lot of money at Dick's Sporting Goods. Dick's Sporting Goods is the complete name. I can't just call it Dicks because I always try shopping online at Dick's Dot Com.

Not only does Dick's Sporting goods have an unfortunate name, but their coupons suck. Anytime I want to use a coupon, it excludes EXACTLY what I am shopping for. Please forgive me for wanting to purchase an Under Armour product and wanting 10% off of my order. It just gets under my skin. Here is the coupon I wanted to use today:

15% off your order
Discount only applied to qualifying product and will be automatically calculated at the time of checkout. Offer valid only while supplies last and not applicable to canceled orders due to out-of-stock merchandise. Offer excludes Offer excludes Clearance Merchandise, Golf Products messaging "Big Savings on Golf", Ugg, Burton, EA Sports Active, Odyssey, championship merchandise, adidas golf, Adams Golf, Asics, Atec, Baby Jogger, Bauer, Bowflex, Carhartt, Callaway, Cleveland, Cobra, Golf, Columbia, DeMarini, Easton, Ektelon, Escape, Fitness Quest, Fly Flot, FootJoy, Gun Safes, Head, Horizon, Jugs, K2, Kettler, K-Swiss, Lobster, Louisville Slugger, Magnum, MBS Mountainboards, MBT, Merrell, Miken Sports, Mission, Mizuno, Mongoose, Nextt Golf, Nike Pro, LIVESTRONG, Nike Hyperize, Nike AF1 and Jordan, Nike Golf, Oakley, Prince, Pro Feet, Puma, Rawlings, Razors, Rollerblade, Salomon, Schwinn, Skycaddie, Speedstik, Spring Step, Sole, Taylor Made, The North Face, Thule, Titleist, Tour Edge, Trend Sports, Under Armour, and Worth, all electronics/optics, ellipticals, treadmills, home gyms, weights, benches, Yakima, select basketball systems, canoes, kayaks, boats, trolling motors, fish locators. Some additional exclusions may apply. See website for details.

That pretty much excludes everything in the entire store. Maybe not jock straps.

Olympic Sized Complaint

We are fans of the Olympics. We watch pretty much NOTHING but the Olympics when they are on. Our daughter is sports obsessed every single day of her life and it makes all 3 of us happy. Tonight the USA was playing Canada in hockey. I am not much of a hockey fan, but I admit it was a big event worthy of watching.

We find out that NBC is not showing the game. Luckily, we pay $10 a month for a rare version of cable called the "broadcast tier" which gives us the chance to watch CTV which is the big Canadian station. Naturally, CTV is showing the game and we all watched . Tom was passed out on the couch before 9pm, but she has school tomorrow so we let her sleep.

Mid game, we were still flabbergasted that NBC would show ice dancing instead of hockey. Ice dancing? This is not figure skating. Ice dancing is the red headed step child of figure skating. Ice dancing SUCKS. We flip over just to see if NBC changed it's mind. No they didn't and this is what we saw:

Nick and I were sure that we needed to burn our eyes out with a red hot poker after seeing this. CLICK HERE for the story where I borrowed the picture. The title of the story is "Russian ice dancing routine absurdly out of place". The article explains a lot and makes me even more happy I was able to see the hockey game.

By the way, the US and A (Borat style) won the game and I just about had a heart attack during the last 3 minutes. Ryan Miller from the Buffalo Sabres was the goalie and he was quite fantastic.

Lessons Learned

Yesterday I went grocery shopping at ALDI. I haven't been to ALDI in a few months, but I missed that place I guess. A regular ALDI shopper knows to keep a quarter handy to rent one of their carts. They have this little device where you insert a quarter and it unchains a cart. When you are done shopping, you return the cart so you can get your quarter back.

Here are some photos I borrowed. These carts look like the ALDI carts in Ohio. Ours in New York are different, but the same concept.


I did not have a quarter yesterday but I did have a Chuck E Cheese token. I attempted to be shrewd and trick the cart into thinking I was inserting a quarter. It did not work. I was embarrassed to discover that a Chuck E Cheese token is slightly larger in diameter than a real quarter. I was also embarrassed to realize that I am indeed a real MOM. Only a Mom would have no cash, but a Chuck E Cheese token. How depressing.

Mid Winter Break

We are on a mid-winter break. Tom has the entire week off of school. We are doing well despite the fact we haven't left the house in two days. I am trying to purge household clutter while Tom begs me for food and Playstation 12 hours a day.

Tom is still asking me how the IMAX movie made our seats move at the Science Center. Our seats did NOT move Tom. I'm so sorry we even took you into that theater. It won't happen again. I promise.

Ontairo Science Center

Our bus trip to the Ontairo Science Center did not suck despite every curveball fate threw our way. We had a good time and hope to take another bus trip in the future.

Here are things that could have possibly ruined our day:

1. Yesterday was President's Day for us AND some new (to us) holiday in Canada called Family Day. I suspect Family Day is when every business in Canada closes with the exception of the Ontairo Science Center. I am not kidding when I say that even Home Depot and IKEA were closed when we drove past. The Science Center was heinously busy because there was nothing else to do in the entire province.

2. We wanted to see the Body Worlds exhibit but it was too busy. We bought tickets to the Grand Canyon IMAX Omnidome film instead. Nick said the music was by Dave Matthews or something. I didn't care and had second thoughts about the whole thing because of Tom's tendency toward motion sickness.

3. Nick passed right by the NO FOOD OR DRINKS sign and bought snacks for the IMAX movie which we ended up throwing away.

4. After Tom became very uncomfortable and loudly asked "Why am I going DOWN? during the introduction of the film. She had the feeling of motion and it was not pretty. Tom and I left the movie before it even began.

5. Tom got a headache mid-day but kept her spirits up even though her headache was making her too hot. She wanted to walk around her camisole undershirt. I said no.

6. Tom did not feel well on the bus ride home. I finally let her chill out in her undershirt. The whole trip, she was squirming and doing some deep breathing. We had to ask the tour operator for the garbage bag and sit with the bag of trash in our laps in case Tom became ill.

7. We did make a restroom stop on the way home where we got our own barf bag. They did NOT sell Children's Motrin.

8. Tom was miserable after the restroom stop and I assured her that once we crossed the border, we would be home quickly. Our bus was randomly selected for a special inspection!!! Tom got too hot inside the border crossing building and tried to bolt out of there saying "I have to get out of here!". That was embarrassing. Luckily, the border officers did not say a thing.

9. We drove into the parking lot where we were to be dropped off and Tom finally got sick and grossed out the people around us. Tom did make it into the bag and we were assured a speedy exit off the bus with our bag of vomit.

10. We did realize that Tom, Nick and Sarah all forgot her glasses and Tom attempted to sleep in them instead. Tom is a fan of her glasses and we are all convinced despite the very very weak prescription, Tom needs her glasses. I don't know what it is like to be near sighted in one eye and far sighted in the other eye, but it must be nauseating.

Weekend stuff

I did score my Canada mittens this weekend! We also got to see IKEA. Fabulous land of cheap furniture and hipster newlyweds. The best part was the vomit on the floor at IKEA. I failed to take a photo of that.


Tomorrow we are heading to the Ontario Science Center in Toronto. Hope that is a ton of fun.

Tom was put to bed on time this evening for our road trip tomorrow. She woke us up at 5am this morning. I questioned her about the ridiculous early wake up time and she said that it was Valentines Day. Okay, that is a fair explanation. That means I was NOT dreaming when she tried to give us our Valentine's Day art before the sun was up. I hope I was polite when I told her to get lost so I could sleep.

We kid her a little about what the next holiday was so she could wake us up early and I told her a story about how the ghosts of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln visit you on President's Day eve and leave 26 cents under your pillow. She is fully ready to find that change under her pillow tomorrow and she may just find it.

O Canada

Nick jokes that I am secretly Canadian because there are certain words I say with a Canadian accent. For those of you that my not know, I am not Canadian, but I grew up close to Windsor, Ontario and now I live very close to Niagara Falls. We are so going North this weekend so I can see if Zellers has these way cool mitts in stock. They are only 10 dollars!! Dollar is one of those words that Nick swears I say with an accent. On Monday, I will feel right at home because we are going to Toronto to the Ontario Science Center with Tom. Unfortunately, we are going on a bus trip and we can't pull off to stop in at Zellers or Ikea.

Excuses Excuses

I am pretty sure the thing I hate most on the planet are excuses. They are the reason bad things happen to good people. Excuses were the sole reason for the fall of the Roman Empire I believe. I especially hate it when people are 10 minutes late for work and then waste 10 more minutes giving the longest excuse in the world. I had a rather long narrative to share when I got to work this morning. It went a little like this:

I was warming my car up this morning for 20 minutes only to realize that the low fuel light has been on in my car for the past 2 days. So, I made a quick trip to the gas station before work. When I got to the gas station I realized that my fuel door was frozen shut by like a 1/2 inch of ice, but I needed gas SO BAD, I spent a few minutes chipping the ice away. After I got some gas, I got on the road and there was an accident that was blocking traffic and I had to wait forever to get around it. That is why I am late for work.

But this morning doesn't compare to my afternoon yesterday! I stopped at Home Depot and the Veterinarian before getting my kid off the bus at 3pm. I had 30 minutes to complete those 2 errands which would have been fine if the veterinarian didn't charge me double for my regular refill of anti anxiety pills for the tinkle puss! It turns out that instead of the 25mg pills that I usually get, they filled the prescription with 1/2 tablets of the 50mg pills. The 50mg pills cost 4 times as much as a 25mg pill when it should only cost twice as much so they had to adjust my price. I left the vet without the pills because the nice lady couldn't figure out how to charge me $10 instead of $20. I get home to find my daughter freaking out because the dog had diarrhea all over the carpet. Then I had to clean up the poo and go back to the vet to get the pills.

Just imagine me trying to spit all of that out in one breath. In retrospect, I should have just stuck with "sorry I'm late!".

Easy There Rainbow Brite

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Purple. Taste the rainbow.

Renting for over 10 years has made me sick of white walls and brown carpet. Instead of buying a house, I would prefer to paint the walls hideous colors. This weekend, my inspiration was chips and salsa. That is the yellow and red in the first photo. This is in the kitchen/office area.

In the dining room we have Home Depot orange and green. Kinda like pumpkin colors. This is in the living room and dining room.

Our downstairs bathroom is still Blue.


That pretty much completes the entire downstairs. One wall in the kitchen will remain white. I will call that my "accent wall" until I decide to paint it. My vision of living in a Mexican Restaurant minus the food may be complete.

I have no plans on painting our bedroom because my eyes are closed 99% of the time I spend in there.

For the record, here is Tom's bedroom. It is lavender. The most normal color in the house. You don't even have to wear sunglasses or take Dramamine when you are in there.

Super Bowl

Tom stayed up and watched the ENTIRE Super Bowl last night. She was rooting for the Saints and they won! The Saints also successfully used an onside kick in the 3rd quarter (Tom's favorite play).

Classic Blog

Here is what I believe to be my first MySpace blog post. I figured some of the classics are worth a 2nd read. Heck, social networking was so new and fresh, I bet only my sister read this one. She was my first MySpace friend.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

where do YOU pee? a conversation with the 2 1/2 year-old: Me: "where do do you pee when you say bye-bye to your diapers?" Genius Child: "In my underwear!" I think it's gonna be a long time before she gets those Blue's Clues underwear she has been dreaming about.

Thanks Tom

I took Tom to Wal Mart to pick out a 2nd pair of glasses for that inevitable time when she loses or breaks hers. I feel that I will be less likely to beat her if we already have a pair waiting for that moment.

Wal Mart sells $9 frames and $29 lenses which can leave you walking out of there only spending $38 on a pair of glasses. Perfect! They also have a wide selection of frames ranging from $38-$68. I would also possibly go for a $98 frame without flinching.

Tom chose one of those indestructible twisty bendy frames meant for children who feel a need to bend and twist their glasses daily. I don't think that Tom is one of those kids and I really pushed for something that was not the most expensive youth frame they sell. I gave in and let her get what she wanted since they were the same price as the ones we got from LensCrafters. She might actually wear them.

The nice lady also adjusted Tom's current glasses and informed us that they were badly out of adjustment. She probably was thinking that I made the right choice since it appears that Tom bends and twists her glasses when I'm not looking. I noticed that the glasses were a hot mess, but figured that the fit fine since they were only a few weeks old.

On a really fabulous note, Tom's headaches are virtually gone since she has been wearing her glasses. Life is good.

LOST

After cramming 3 seasons of LOST into the past 2 or 3 weeks, I was supremely upset that tonight's show included a one hour tutorial (very necessary) as well as a two hour episode. That was TOO MUCH. I fell asleep within 5 minutes of the two hour episode but woke up quickly and watched most of it.

It is an entertaining show, but I just don't get why people are so obsessed. Reading some of the chatter on Twitter about tonight's episode was disturbing. Why the heck are so many people crying and why? I didn't find it all that heartwarming. I was mostly entertained and confused, but far from emotionally moved.

My thoughts on the show?

Warning: This may be considered a spoiler.

So let me get this straight. There are 3 John Lockes now.

1. Alive John Locke who just got to Los Angeles and chatted with Dr. Shepard.
2. Dead John Locke lying on the beach who was recently tipped out of a box.
3. Black smoke monster John Locke who just beat up eyeliner guy (Alpert).

Yeah. I'm so glad I stayed awake for that.

The spies are everywhere.

Yesterday Tom helped with the laundry, made her bed (sort of) and set the table. I gave her a VERY LONG lecture on good behavior, respect and chores before bed. She was a beast this weekend for my Dad's visit and she was very willing to turn her attitude around after my Dad left. Thanks Tom! You suck.

At bed time, I chose a book called Start Saving Henry! to read. It was a very cute book that was about a seven year old mouse who wanted a toy and had to save his allowance. Henry did chores like making his bed, picking up his clothes and setting the table. He also liked to spend this $5 allowance as soon as he got it. He wanted a $30 toy and his mom said it was too expensive and he would have to save his money. It was exactly the kind of stuff that happens around here. Tom was amazed by the similarities and asked who the author was. I told her it was Nancy Carlson.

Tom said.

"She spies us."

Yes Tom, Nancy Carlson is spying on us and chose to write a book about it.

Just Another Day at the Office

My lips are insanely chapped today. One of the kindergartners (one of the cutest ones) decided to flaunt her chap stick while she was in the lunch line. It was even cherry! Oh my goodness I really really wanted to say:

"You had better watch yourself little missy. On second thought, you had better watch your precious chap stick. My lips are really chapped and I am not afraid to steal it."

While I cleaned up the serving line, I saw one of the 3rd grade boys running down the hallway at full speed. He then decided to hurdle the yellow "Wet Floor" sign. That was not the smartest move because the floor was indeed wet. Wet and slippery. He landed on his face. The crabby custodian who had recently been paged to the gymnasium, was headed there with a hammer in one hand and two tennis balls in the other immediately after he put away his mop and bucket. I am assuming he just had to clean up some vomit or blood. He was NOT in a good mood. That custodian said to the poor child laying flat on his face:

"You had better not be bleeding or you will be cleaning it up yourself."

I love my job! Never a dull moment.