I am thankful.

I'm sure you thought I was going to make a heartfelt list of crap I am thankful for. Negative.



I am thankful that my daughter makes me laugh.



Today she saw a news report about Barack Obama and his plans on economic stimuli. During the news story they played the stock video of money going through the money printing machine. My daughter said: "Barack Obama is putting his face on all the dollars".



She also said that "George Bush needs to share his Presidential Spirit with Barack Obama". Whatever the heck that means. Sounds good to me though.

The slush ball in the driveway? (see blog from yesterday) It was just one of those "icy cubes in the shape of dead animals". Classic. I hope we don't encounter any more of those this winter.

Forgive Me

Please forgive me for making fun of my child so much, but she makes it so easy.

This morning I send her out to the bus stop (the end of our driveway) this morning only to find out that she can't make it all the way out there because there is a mysterious looking slushball sitting in the driveway. This slushball fell off of Nick's car on Friday when he got home from driving through "ski country" where they have gotten like 4 feet of snow in the past few weeks. The slushball looked like any other slushball would. Tom Brady (formerly Ding Ding) decided she couldn't walk past it because she thought it was a raccoon. Here is the slushball/raccoon in question.
I am currently reading the 2nd book in the Twilight series. Yes, I know it is intended for the teen crowd, but it is an easy read and entertains me. I enjoyed the Ann Rice Vampire books back when I was a teen and would have loved to read these books back then too. Tom Brady loves to be updated with what is happening in my "zombie books" and recently decided that the "not-vampire girl is going to be academically turned into a vampire at the end". Instead of academically, she meant automatically.

This is what halloween looks like now. I think it is classy.

I don't usually blog too much on the weekends, but I wrestled with our regular camera and it has decided to work fairly well lately. This picture is Nick and Tom Brady (formerly known as Ding Ding) headed out the door for soccer. Nick was sporting his Ball State shirt because they are 11-0 this season. Tom Brady is wearing her Buffalo hoodie because Buffalo has somehow won the MAC East and will play in the championship game in a couple weeks. Un Bullelievable.

I was making a shopping list to make Chocolate Chex Mix and dictated a shopping list to Tom Brady to write on the dry erase board. I told her not to worry about spelling and just sound everything out. I thought it was cute.

Powdered Sugar-pouderd shuger
Chocolate Chips-Cocolit Chips
Food & Bread Bags-Food & bred bags
Chex-Chex

And my favorite picture of the day is our American Eskimo dog Sarina admiring the Arctic Tundra of our backyard. She looks so serene and it is nice to see her enjoying the outdoors.

Parent-Teacher Conference

This morning was Ding Ding's parent-teacher conference. I attended in person and Nick came in my pocket via speakerphone. Nothing too bloggable it seemed business as usual crammed into 30 short minutes and I barely got a word in edgewise. Nick also tried to chime in, but it was mostly the teacher chattering on about what the first quarter of Kindergarten is all about: socialization and learning letters.

I was armed with Ding Ding's progress report as well as an online reading assessment that we administered. I hardly got the chance to discuss anything. I don't even believe that "Do you have any questions?" was asked before we were in there over 40 minutes and had to leave.

I specifically brought up the fact that my daughter can identify and put in order all numbers from 1-100 but did not appear so on the progress report. The teacher basically said that the progress report reflected what they are doing in class and was not tailored to my child as much as I assumed. She also said she would have loved to give her an "E" for exceeds in reading but shouldn't. I have no idea what that meant. If my child exceeds the Kindergarten reading benchmarks (which she clearly does) than why can't you say so?

Now I am back to square one and would like to talk to the teacher a little more but was already blown off and told to wait for conferences. I guess I will have to wait until 2nd quarter. Do they even have conferences after 2nd quarter? Hmmmmm (steps away from computer for a moment) Yes! I get to wait until February 9th right before the completely useless Mid-Winter recess where they don't have school for a week from February 16th-20th. I can't wait to be snowed in with my daughter for an entire week.

Please excuse my bitter mood about this whole thing. I will be patient and hope for a less confusing teacher next year.

snow (finally)

We finally got enough snow for a snowball. Ding Ding was so excited she was dressed by 6:45am and we had to rush everything so we could go outside and play before the bus came. We played a game she invented called "snake in the snow" where you are the snake and you hide. Then the polar bear tries to find you. It is basically like hide and seek but you are supposed to hide somewhere where there is snow. I screwed this up royally because I hid next to the garbage can which is under a ledge and there was no snow there.
Elephant in the snow.
Ding Ding loved the "snow apples" which are just the rotting apples in the nuisance tree that we don't dare eat.
The birds are probably getting hungry but I stopped feeding them when it was in the 60's and 70's. I think today calls for a revival of the bird feeding.

Now that it is snowing YOU NEED SNOW TIRES!!!!!!!!!! I know a guy who works for Goodyear and they make the best tires.

Big Winners!

Nick was out of town Monday-Friday last week. He got home only to find out that Ding Ding was interested in going to Family Bingo night at school. It was presented by the PTO at her school and had the potential to be tons of fun. We showed up only to find that the "admission" was one 2-liter of soda, one bag of chips and a bag of cookies. I only brought cash, but they let us in for free. We did buy $5 of raffle tickets for the basket raffle. I was chatting the lady up so much, she mistook my $10 bill for a $20 and gave me $15 in change instead of $5. I returned the extra $10 in hopes that karma would smile on us and we would win one of the gift baskets. The lady was so appreciative, she gave me some extra raffle tickets.

Bingo was a bust, it was really loud and hard to hear the caller lady. We didn't get one bingo and Ding Ding was VERY disappointed. She even spelled the F-Bomb in my ear she was so upset. Nick and I decided to ignore her curse word spelling because we didn't think we could repremand with a straight face.

The basket raffle was our last hope of having a great Friday night. We ended up winning the first basket. This was ULTRA embarrassing because this was the first time the crowd actually got quiet and I made Nick go up and retrieve our Family Game Night gift basket (complete with gingerbread house).


We sat through all of the basket drawings (20 of them in all) to find out that we won the last basket too! It was a turkey dinner basket. I took advantage of the 39 cent turkeys at the grocery store this week and bought a turbo cheap 12 pounder for us to enjoy a turkey dinner in a couple of months.

We felt like big winners despite not winning any bingo prizes which ended up being (drumroll please) A bottle of soda, a bag of chips and a bag of cookies!!!!! I'm kinda glad that we ended up with something other than a bag of junk food.

I apologize for the crappiness of our photos. I have been using the phone camera more and more since our real camera is dying a slow death and can be more trouble than it's worth.

I also want everyone to know that Ding Ding is really developing a sassy pre-tween attitude! She tried to repond to a direction to complete a chore with "I'm not your slave." but she quickly found out that yes, she is my slave and she will act accordingly.

First Progress Report.

First off I will share a slightly disturbing page from one of Ding Ding's books from school. Every classic piece of childrens literature isn't complete without images of animals vomiting up other animals.

Second, I got Ding Ding's first progress report and was just plain disappointed. Every parent wants to hear that his/her child is a freakin' genius. My daughter's report card did not include any mention of the words genius, MENSA, prodigy or gifted. All I got was "She is excited about learning each day." How generic.

Seriously, I was a bit surprised that my daughter was not graded "secure" in the following skill:
Independently reads appropriate unfamiliar text with adequate comprehension.

She was also graded even lower on Reads any number 100 or less. With my daughter watching sports every single day, I am a thousand percent sure that my child can read every single number to 100 and certainly doesn't require substantial teacher support and direction.

I do recognize that my daughter has been known to feign ignorance in her assessments in the past. I wish I had the motivation to dig up a certain grade card from preschool where she refused to answer any of the questions pertaining to the Bible because she didn't like Bible Time.

I firmly believe that there is always room for improvement and I vow to drill my daughter every day for hours so she can improve her "reading numbers" grade.

Now I will return to my brown-nosing activity of cutting out numerous shapes for a Thanksgiving craft project for her classroom. If anything, this should get her "Secure" or even "Exceeds" in all Kindergarten skills!

Judging another book by it's cover

My daughter brought home another gem today in her Book Baggie. I will comment on it before reading it because it is way more fun that way.

Alternate Titles:

1. Mr. James waits for his Hustler Magazine
2. A letter from the Probation Officer
3. What to do when your prison pen pal stops writing you
4. How to tamper with your neighbors mail (and how NOT to get caught!)
5. Mr. James sends anthrax to his congressman
6. Mr. James mistakes his mailbox for a loaf of bread again
7. How to look 20 years younger by dying your mustache brown
8. Mr. James learns about mail bombs the hard way
9. Mr James finds his glasses on his forehead, not in the mailbox

Life isn't fair

I filled up the gas tank at $2.89/gallon this week. You jerks in Ohio are paying less than $2.

Finally

I have been convinced that either Ding Ding's kindergarten teacher hates me or she is incredibly disorganized/overworked and really isn't communicating like I expected her to. I believe it is the latter. The teacher has always been nice and mentions every time she sends a newsletter home that she needs parent volunteers. I don't actually want to deal with that many children, but I have volunteered to help about 300 times. She says she is compiling a schedule and will contact us. I have never been contacted.

I have talked to the teacher about some issues that make me feel like an over involved parent.

1. Ding Ding complained that the teacher thought she couldn't read. I discussed it with the teacher over an email and the teacher told me that Ding Ding was assessed at a specific reading level which she was reading 2 years ago. It made me laugh and also made me wonder if Ding Ding is actually getting to read anything at school. Soon after, I find out that Ding Ding was moved to a higher reading group and started bringing home great books like "The Ha Ha Powder". It just took a month longer than I expected.

2. Ding Ding had a terrible fear of being trapped in the bathroom if she shuts the door when she uses it. I talked to the teacher face-to-face about this problem and all that happened was that Ding Ding was trapped in the bathroom when the teacher forgot about her. We worked on this problem at home and is not a problem. Ding Ding is still locked in the bathroom occasionally and now waits patiently while the other kids do puzzles.

3. I came into the school to help solve my daughter's lunch issues where she seemed to be unable to choose "main lunch" for fear of having to eat cole slaw or green beans. It was embarrassing, but I don't think that I'll ever have to do it again.

4. This weekend, Ding Ding was whining that she wanted me to send a juice for her snack time. I told her NO and I sent a water bottle to school and water is good for her. She said the top to her water bottle fell on the floor by the water fountain and it was lost. I asked if the teacher knew about it. Yes, the teacher was informed of this problem. I asked her if we could get the top back if we looked. YES! I suspected the overworked nature of this teacher previously and I walked over to school, made my way through "security" (the main office) and completely surprised the teacher by finding the top with her help of course. She was very apologetic and explained that Ding Ding refused to drink from the water bottle without the correct top. I apologized that my child is touched in the head and would rather dehydrate than change her routine and drink from a bottle without the top.

During my last trip to the school, the teacher again asked me if I was available to volunteer. I enthusiastically said yes (again) and I was available anytime (as usual). I would even love to cut things out for her if she needs it. Cutting things out is more of what I would rather help with! The teacher got all excited and was really happy to hear that I could do this work at home. Woo Hoo! I might be able to help this teacher become a bit less overworked and may, just may, make that parent vounteer schedule before Christmas.

This is her first year teaching Kindergarten and I don't envy her. I just was not ready for a teacher with not enough time to pester the parents. I hear other parents getting weekly reports about their child's progress and I get a newsletter that says she needs H-E-L-P! Maybe she actually needs help to make the schedule to get the helpers in the class so she can let the little ones out of the bathroom.

Bottom line is that Ding Ding love love loves her teacher. Ding Ding is actually drawing pictures and her handwriting has come so far in the last 2 months. She has made friends and doesn't seem like a social outcast. Her school pictures came out good too! The one in the green shirt is the real school picture, the one in the striped shirt is when I took her to Wal-Mart for their 30 zillion pictures for $5 deal the night before school pictures. I have my 30 zillion ones from Wal-Mart, but should I order more of the other one? Nick really seems to like it more, but in the long run, I don't think he cares that much. Any opinions?

Should I order more copies of the picture on the left?
	Order more. The picture on the left is far superior.
	Indifferent. Both pictures are fine.
	Don't order more. The one on the right is better.
	Your child is ugly and you should burn all photos of her.
pollcode.com free polls

More Questions and Answers

Yesterday was so informative, I made a questionnaire to learn a little bit more about mi hija. Her homework gets really boring sometimes, this was a nice way to spice it up a bit!

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Football Player (surprise surprise!!)

What time do you want to get up in the morning?
6:00 (it keeps getting earlier and earlier. this morning she got me up at 5:52)

Write 3 things you want for your birthday
New england Pats helmet

A webkinz buffalo
Ball State jersy

What is your favorite store?
hallmark (where you can buy Webkinz)

What is the scariest thing ever?
zombes (zombies are scarier than vampires? news to me!)

What is your favorite food?
Popcicle

What is the worst food?
Brokly

What college do you want to go to?
Ball State

What is your favorite part of school?
playgrond

Which is better? Winter or Summer?
both

Why?
i like playing in the snow. i like plaing in the pool.

Interrogation

I admit it, I like to interrogate my daughter. She is 6 and I like to know what she is thinking. She is not a really great conversationalist because she much prefers talking to the Playstation or her mini football helmet collection.

My daily question/answer sessions usually include the following questions:

1. How was school today?
2. Did anyone go to the nurse?
3. Was anyone bad today?
4. Who was absent today?

She hates these questions, but they are now a habit at dinnertime. Today was especially boring so I kept asking and asking and asking.

Q: Are there any bad kids in the class?
A: Yes, ****** (name removed for privacy) but he's gooder now.

Q: Are there any quiet kids in class?
A: Yes ******* she doesn't say anything.

Q: Are there any smarty pants in class that know everything and raise their hand a lot?
A: Yes, that is Me. (Nerd Alert!)

Q: Mrs. ******** told me you were bad, what did you do? (I was lying and trying to get her to confess to anything)
A: No, I didn't do anything.

Now I want to know what she thinks of me. School turned out to be a painfully boring subject.

Q: What is MY favorite thing to do?
A: Clean up.

Q: What is Dad's favorite thing to do?
A: Ask him.

Okay, this is going NOWHERE! My kid needs a trip to Toastmasters.

She did tell me they are working on counting backward at school and her friends go 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 and then they all scream BLAST OFF!! And they make sound effects. She says that she hates the "Blast Off" part and covers her ears. She said it "S"-word.

I inquire to what "S"-word she was talking about. The child is really interested in bad words these days. She spelled S-U-C-K-S.

Election Day

Ding Ding clearly favors Barack Obama. She says he "looks good". I am trying my hardest to explain that both candidates are good people and they just have different plans for our country. I want her to know that it is okay to vote for whoever you want. So I show her a friend's MySpace page that has our friend at a Sarah Palin rally. I told her "look here's our friend at a Palin rally because" "SHE'S CRAZY!" Ding Ding interrupts. This might be a losing battle.

I begged her not to argue with her friends at school. Apparently there was an argument at school about whether or not Jesus died on the cross. I have repeated several times that we generally don't discuss politics or religion at school. She knows her school does not have a religious affiliation like pre-school did and she should keep her flippin mouth shut.

This morning I woke up Nick and Ding Ding at 5:30am to hit the polls soon after they opened at 6. Ding Ding was excited but had to race to the computer to cast her vote first on BuildaBearville.com for Bearemy.

We made it to the fire hall and I made a comment about how it was different from Ohio because the polling location was not divided by precinct. It ended up being secretly divided without any signs, because we ended up standing in 3 different lines until we found our names in the book. The poll workers here in New York are just as incompetent and grumpy as they are in Ohio! We finally got in the old fashioned voting booth with the big lever and curtain, Ding Ding and I voted first things went fine. Then Nick and Ding Ding went in and Ding Ding was very vocal in her opinions about Barack Obama. Despite their space aged appearance, those voting booths are not soundproof and Nick was embarrassed.

Halloween

This is Ding Ding doing her "drills" before Trick-Or-Treating.

Halloween was pretty uneventful. Ding Ding only passed on 3 "scary" houses and did not freak out about any costumes. We now know that Ding Ding is not a total nerd at school yet she actually has friends. She got to trick-or-treat with our neighbors down the block for awhile, after they gave up she found a little boy in her class and they finished off the street together. After he went home we found a little girl from her class. That was neat because that girl is waaaay taller than Ding Ding. She also found 2 or 3 other kids from her class to get all excited to see (like she didn't just see them 5 hours ago).

Here are the pictures. Ding Ding posing in her Bills Costume with the Ohio State Pumpkin and then her trick or treating pumpkin.

Here is the candy we collected. No overabundance of yuck candy and we got a full-sized M&M's, Crunch Bar and Twix.