We moved here 2 years ago this month. It's about time that I return to the workforce. Okay, I guess I need some training wheels for this work thing. I have decided to apply for a substitute food worker at the local school district. I was told immediately that I was overqualified and hired upon the completion of several hoops I need to jump through.
I worked in the cafeterias throughout a lot of college and I have never minded doing that sort of work. I also inspected several school cafeterias as a part of my work as a Sanitarian. I am sure I know exactly what I am getting myself into. I am looking forward to this adventure.
Here are the steps to becoming a substitute lunch lady:
1. Apply. I brought in a revised resume highlighting my food service experience and food safety knowledge. Overkill? Yes. Hired? YES!
2. Go to another building and fill out tax forms. Groan.
3. Visit nurse at high school and get a TB test. News flash! TB tests are now administered with the use of a needle and an injection. Double Groan.
4. Get fingerprinted at Police Department. Super fun and interesting!
5. Pay $94 for background check which will be reimbursed once I work 20 hours. Semi-groan because this involved getting cash from the bank and then going across the street to 7-11 for a money order then taking it back to the School District office.
6. I still have yet to go back to the school nurse to have her determine the results of the TB test.
I hope I get to start working soon.
Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Just for laughs
Just for the sake of embarrassment, I will recycle an old picture from 3 years ago. I needed a good laugh. Tom was 4 and was modeling a very sassy outfit. It includes an astronaut helmet, rain boots and a pair of backward underwear (she hated it when the picture was in the back). I am guessing this picture was the same year she had the incredible super power of shooting hot lava from her boobies. 
Last night, she told me she was so happy that I was her Mom. If I didn't find her a football team, she wouldn't have this "great football career".
Last night, she told me she was so happy that I was her Mom. If I didn't find her a football team, she wouldn't have this "great football career".
What a fabulous day already!
You may think I won the lottery. Not quite, but pretty close!
I was just finishing up a great night's sleep listening to the soothing sounds of the low-battery chirp of the smoke detector and the yowling of my tinkle puss Cheeseburger when Tom comes into my room an hour early. What a pleasant surprise!
Oh! that extra hour between 6 and 7am when I get to shower, brush teeth, dry my hair, pill the cat and let the dog out is such a nuisance! I'm so glad I had company for my pre-dawn hygiene rituals this happy morning most days I feel so lonely and quiet. It can be quite unnerving when you don't have a 7 year old chattering away outside the bathroom door while you are taking care of business.
We get ourselves ready for the day and head downstairs. Tom gets herself breakfast while I finish flat ironing my hair (I need to look good for the bus driver!). Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, my nostrils are greeted with the pleasant smell of feces. It is especially aromatic this fine morning! Of course Cheeseburger has a full litter box! He is getting really good at actually using it these days. He had a couple little dribbles of runny poo, but I'm totally used to the daily scrub down of all of the surfaces and bedding in his cage.
The smell is soooooo fragrant that, upon further investigation, I discover that Sarina had runny poo by the front door. "More?" You ask. . . could there be more? Why YES!!! Sarina also had left me a great big gift of runny poo by the back door too! By this time I am in an especially blessed mood and Tom is given a banana to supplement the rest of her morning banquet.
As I lean over the carpet with gloves on and a variety of cleaning supplies, Tom's magical gag reflex is triggered and she needs to return the banana. It didn't agree with her esophagus and was eager to be thrown up into Tom's awaiting hands. I was too occupied collecting my runny poo gifts to also collect chewed up banana. I sent her to her room with banana barf on her hands. I am guessing she cleaned it up in the extra 30 minutes she had before the bus came to pick her up because she was so eager to wake up an hour early today.
Some days I just can't quit smiling. Can it get any better?
I was just finishing up a great night's sleep listening to the soothing sounds of the low-battery chirp of the smoke detector and the yowling of my tinkle puss Cheeseburger when Tom comes into my room an hour early. What a pleasant surprise!
Oh! that extra hour between 6 and 7am when I get to shower, brush teeth, dry my hair, pill the cat and let the dog out is such a nuisance! I'm so glad I had company for my pre-dawn hygiene rituals this happy morning most days I feel so lonely and quiet. It can be quite unnerving when you don't have a 7 year old chattering away outside the bathroom door while you are taking care of business.
We get ourselves ready for the day and head downstairs. Tom gets herself breakfast while I finish flat ironing my hair (I need to look good for the bus driver!). Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, my nostrils are greeted with the pleasant smell of feces. It is especially aromatic this fine morning! Of course Cheeseburger has a full litter box! He is getting really good at actually using it these days. He had a couple little dribbles of runny poo, but I'm totally used to the daily scrub down of all of the surfaces and bedding in his cage.
The smell is soooooo fragrant that, upon further investigation, I discover that Sarina had runny poo by the front door. "More?" You ask. . . could there be more? Why YES!!! Sarina also had left me a great big gift of runny poo by the back door too! By this time I am in an especially blessed mood and Tom is given a banana to supplement the rest of her morning banquet.
As I lean over the carpet with gloves on and a variety of cleaning supplies, Tom's magical gag reflex is triggered and she needs to return the banana. It didn't agree with her esophagus and was eager to be thrown up into Tom's awaiting hands. I was too occupied collecting my runny poo gifts to also collect chewed up banana. I sent her to her room with banana barf on her hands. I am guessing she cleaned it up in the extra 30 minutes she had before the bus came to pick her up because she was so eager to wake up an hour early today.
Some days I just can't quit smiling. Can it get any better?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Blah
Feeling pretty crappy lately. In times like these, posting depressing manifestos to my blog sounds like a bad idea. Here is just a snippet of my life at this moment:
I have been a very mean and demanding mother lately. The little patience I have toward my child is nonexistent right now. I am much too irritated over my tinkle puss. I must give him six pills a day as well as lock him in a cage with a cone on his head. He is on prescription food to dissolve the razor sharp crystals in his urine. The combination of the pills and the food is making his poop end up in places that are not the litter box. Then when the poop is in his bed, he might sit in it and can't clean it off properly because he has that dang cone on his head. Don't get me started on the smell. The special "paper litter" smells bad enough without cat scat in it. Oh yeah, I guess it sucks they cut off his wiener last week too. In the last 2 days I have gained 3lbs. things are NOT GOOD. Maybe it wouldn't be a good time to be my (neglected) kid right now.
On a good note! We went to a fundraiser night at Bob Evans last night where 15% of our dinner went to the Playground Committee. Tom got French Toast and Sausage garnished with whipped cream. I thought her sausage deserved a picture.
I have been a very mean and demanding mother lately. The little patience I have toward my child is nonexistent right now. I am much too irritated over my tinkle puss. I must give him six pills a day as well as lock him in a cage with a cone on his head. He is on prescription food to dissolve the razor sharp crystals in his urine. The combination of the pills and the food is making his poop end up in places that are not the litter box. Then when the poop is in his bed, he might sit in it and can't clean it off properly because he has that dang cone on his head. Don't get me started on the smell. The special "paper litter" smells bad enough without cat scat in it. Oh yeah, I guess it sucks they cut off his wiener last week too. In the last 2 days I have gained 3lbs. things are NOT GOOD. Maybe it wouldn't be a good time to be my (neglected) kid right now.
On a good note! We went to a fundraiser night at Bob Evans last night where 15% of our dinner went to the Playground Committee. Tom got French Toast and Sausage garnished with whipped cream. I thought her sausage deserved a picture.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Cheeseburger is healing-boring cat post
I apologize for yet another post about the health of my pets. I promise, there are some people out there that do want to know. I get mixed reviews on the pet posts.
Cheeseburger came home from the animal hospital yesterday afternoon. The P.U. surgery went well. His incision is healing and there is no penis left from what I can see. So since he has such a high pitched voice anyway, he is our tranny (slang word for transsexual) cat now. I think "tranny cat" has a better ring to it than his previous nick name of "tinkle puss".
Cheeseburger should be confined to Sarina's dog crate for the next 2 weeks. He doesn't seem that upset so far because I think it sure beats the animal hospital. He has a food/water dish, cardboard box filled with fleece, litter box and a carpet square covered in fleece. I have even gotten in there with him for some maintenance. Our dog crate is a bit over sized for our 20lb dog.
He is wearing a cone on her head so he doesn't lick. I like how one of the veterinarians call the cone a "party hat". It is actually called an Elizabethan Collar or an E-Collar for short.
The veterinarian FINALLY broke down and gave him a pill in front of me. I have requested this before, but they were unwilling. This helped so much and now I am actually proficient at giving pills! This is a good thing because Cheeseburger is on at least 3 pills a day. Once I call the vet today, I may find out he is on 4. He has expressed his discontent with the daily pills, but that's just too darn bad.
Cheeseburger came home from the animal hospital yesterday afternoon. The P.U. surgery went well. His incision is healing and there is no penis left from what I can see. So since he has such a high pitched voice anyway, he is our tranny (slang word for transsexual) cat now. I think "tranny cat" has a better ring to it than his previous nick name of "tinkle puss".
Cheeseburger should be confined to Sarina's dog crate for the next 2 weeks. He doesn't seem that upset so far because I think it sure beats the animal hospital. He has a food/water dish, cardboard box filled with fleece, litter box and a carpet square covered in fleece. I have even gotten in there with him for some maintenance. Our dog crate is a bit over sized for our 20lb dog.
He is wearing a cone on her head so he doesn't lick. I like how one of the veterinarians call the cone a "party hat". It is actually called an Elizabethan Collar or an E-Collar for short.
The veterinarian FINALLY broke down and gave him a pill in front of me. I have requested this before, but they were unwilling. This helped so much and now I am actually proficient at giving pills! This is a good thing because Cheeseburger is on at least 3 pills a day. Once I call the vet today, I may find out he is on 4. He has expressed his discontent with the daily pills, but that's just too darn bad.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
My favorite places in the world.
A list of some of my favorite places on earth! Toledo, Buffalo, Cincinnati, Cleveland and Detroit! Maybe I should check out the other 5. Chances are, I would like them too.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Jekyl and Hyde
Here is another video of how Tom Brady's mood can change in an instant (or an interception). She didn't know I was recording her little tantrum. She goes from singing her little fight song to mega witch in a matter of seconds. We prohibit physical violence or prolonged unsportsmanlike conduct so her tantrums are significantly more controlled than what she is capable of:
This video is another good form of birth control for my childless friends.
This video is another good form of birth control for my childless friends.
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