Videos of Tom

We bought a brand new camera in the hopes that we would record every touching moment of Tom's football career.

We have failed so far, but honestly Tom has offered us very very few quality moments to record. She is a beast. Please view the following video of her pre-game interview on Sunday.


And here is her pre-game warm up which is much more less beastly. She never waves at the camera or even acknowledges our existence on the sidelines. I'm cool with that.

I'll make it easier for you to see Tom in action. Here is where she is located in the video:

Damn you Sarah and your sick ass pets!

Cheeseburger 's urethra is indeed blocked now. He was in a lot of pain when I took him to the vet today. They are going to "unblock" him tonight. Tomorrow the vet will cut off the end of his penis and reconstruct his urethra so it is much wider.

I am so thankful we are swimming in disposable income and can afford these luxuries.


:(

Now it is a few hours later than when I first posted this. I am just sick to my stomach to find out that Cheeseburger has followed the "worst case scenario" route the veterinarian laid out for us. He had his blockage cleared this evening and I was vigilant enough to catch it very early. His kidney function was completely normal and his bladder didn't rupture or anything. Tomorrow he will undergo a perineal urethrostomy which will widen his urethra. Unfortunately for him, we already robbed him of his testicles now we are having his pee pee chopped off.

I also ate 2 donuts today.

Sick Kitty

I took Cheeseburger to the Veterinarian this morning with suspicions of another bladder infection. Cheeseburger was excessively licking his pee pee area and also straining in the litterbox. He also blessed us with a couple tinkles outside the litterbox too (but we are more than used to that part). The last time I took him in for a urine check we found out he was just being a big jerk and liked to urinate on all of our stuff.

Today it was different. Cheeseburger has a pretty serious bladder infection that can very quickly escalate to a life threatening urethra blockage if the crystals in his urine do not exit properly. Hopefully we won't have to deal with the Emergency vet again.

Cheeseburger should have a pretty painful few days followed by glorious relief. Poor Cheeseburger. I'm glad I'm not crazy and can recognize when my cat isn't feeling well.

Friday Weigh In

Last week I set a 6 week weight loss goal. This week did not go as planned, but I was successful at losing weight. I failed to record/track/journal all of my meals. I did put some miles on the treadmill, but I do that anyway. I wanted to step it up a bit and I just stuck to the status quo.

At Weight Watchers today I asked the leader to convert my paper "tracker" booklet into a "magic tracker". All that means is that she draws a smiley face and writes the word magic. The people at the meeting say that if you have her staring at you all week you are more successful.

It's worth a try. I think her smiley face should have been a little more shifty eyed, but I guess it will do. Maybe instead of magic, it should say track or die. Just a thought.

Atlas Shrugged

Over the summer, my Dad lost his copy of a book called Atlas Shrugged. After I helped him replace his copy, I find out that the print was too small and he found his original copy anyway. I was browsing the books at Salvation Army the other day and see that very book (the tiny print version) for 50 cents. Curiosity got the best of me and I bought it.

My Dad warned me it is a very boring book. He was right! It may very well be the most boring book in history, but my stubbornness will kick in and I'll finish it if it kills me. It has taken me about 3 weeks to make it 50 pages, but I'm steadily plowing through that book about 2 pages a day. It is better than Unisom right before bed.

Some things have changed in the 10-15 years since I was in High School. You can get Cliffs Notes online! For free! I still might want a paper copy for this book though. It is quite a read.

Here is a clever little video from a clever little show called South Park that I saw the very evening I replaced my Dad's copy of Atlas Shrugged.




Looks like I have a long 30 years or so until I actually finish this book!

On Wednesday's Episode. . .

Just an update of what I was up to on The Sarah Show yesterday:

• Oxy Clean was very effective on a very filthy football practice uniform. White shirt, white pants, white socks. . . they are white again!
• The whoopee cushion continues to fall apart the more we try to repair it. Sad. Very sad.
  
• Nothing happened when I shopped at WalMart in a navy shirt and khaki pants. I just became insanely paranoid that someone would notice me and talk to me. Why? I have no idea. It was a high stress situation for me. Comical now.
  
• Open House yesterday was pretty dumb. Well, I never actually saw my child's teacher because I was busy selling Fashion Show tickets. Totally going to Mom Jail for that one! Nick was the good parent and listened to the teacher talk. Luckily, she passed out papers that explained everything that she said because Nick was a deer in the headlights when I asked him about it.
• I was fully prepared to let Tom starve last night because we had lasagna. She usually complains very loudly about lasagna, but I let her have a friend over for dinner and Tom ate like a champ. One more reason why children may be the most infuriating creatures on the planet.
• I have been slacking on giving Cheeseburger his anti-anxiety medications. You can clearly tell when they wear off because Cheeseburger starts tip toeing around the house (more so than a normal cat) like he is in constant fear of carpet mines. He was slowly creeping across the living room and I clapped. That cat must have gone 3 feet in the air. I give him the pills because I LOVE him. If I didn't love him, he would be long gone.

On today's show:

Today's show can be seen on request via web cam while I fold laundry and clean out the litterbox. This place is a dump.

The Sarah Show

Tom Brady reminded me yesterday that this blog is NOT about her (she quit long ago). So I have decided to post about myself on this dreary, humid first day of Autumn. I am my second favorite topic to talk about. I find myself endlessly interesting and funny. What more can I ask for?

As I sit watching Rachael Ray today I am irritated again and again by her mindless banter. No matter how annoying she may be, I tolerate it because I like her decorating style, her cooking and her show. Some of her comments and humor just drive me up the wall. I surprise myself with my tolerance for that woman. I think it is my ability to turn the television off.

I have very little tolerance for that vast group of people who I have the most in common with. . . moms. You can't turn them off and they never give me great tips about cutting corners like Rachael. Being a good mom requires you to take the longest possible route from point A to point B. You can't just buy a box of cereal, you have to clip a coupon and wait for your cereal to go on sale then you have to show off your receipt. I tried coupon-ing and it was just not for me.

I have yet to find a mom (other than my BFF) that can honestly admit how many hot dogs are consumed in their house in a week. Unfortunately, I just can't be interested in your organic food co-op and how you much your 3-year-old likes leeks. Doesn't anyone else want to talk about how nice life would be if we could use low-power tasers for disciplining their children? Taking too long to get dressed? bzzzzzz. pulling on the cat's tail? bzzzzzzz. got out of bed after bedtime? bzzzzzzz. kinda like the squirt gun method of training cats. NO! Nobody is interested and I probably offended someone out there just by suggesting it.

So I find myself practically alone here in Buffalo. I have met some really great people, but they do have lives of their own and they don't appreciate it when I sit outside of their workplace waiting to ambush them for a dinner at Olive Garden. I also tend to hang out with them only when there are zero children present. Between work, school, football, and finding babysitters, it is rare when I get to hang out with my "approved" list of people that don't irritate me. Why must I be so picky?

Just wondering if there are people out there just like me. Could I have my own show? Here are my topics for today's show (these are real things going on in my life):

• Testing Oxy Clean for the first time on muddy football uniform.
  
• My disappointment with the durability of whoopee cushions.
• How I went to Wal-Mart today in a navy blue polo shirt and khaki pants otherwise known as the Wal-Mart uniform.
  
• Elementary School Open House: Waste of Time?
• Letting your kid skip dinner because they don't want to eat your crappy food will not kill them. Proof that they will be alive in the morning.
• Contest: Give Cheeseburger his pill in one try and win a dinner with Tom Brady at Chuck E Cheese!