Birds and Snow

Ding Ding made this bird feeder at a friend's birthday party oh, so long ago. We didn't use it when we lived in the apartment despite my promises to get a hanger for it and some bird seed. Then came summer and my Dad says birds don't need to be fed in the summer. Then we moved to Buffalo, then came summer again. Now winter is coming again (for the third time since she made it). We finally got some bird seed, a tree of our own and we even got some birds! Ding Ding has yet to witness birds in the bird feeder because she is so loud and crazy, so I made a video. The video ends when Radio the cat grabs the camera. I tried once before to make a video of the birds, but Radio bit my arm and I have accepted the fact that Radio is insane and I will only get a 10 second video of a bird on the other side of the feeder.

If you look closely, it is snowing. Now I know we live in Buffalo. It is snowing before Halloween. The heat actually came on last night. I have it set at 58 degrees.

I have decided to post the other video anyway. This is the one where Radio tried to devour my arm and you can hear me tell him "stop" at the end. This video is not exciting either, but Ding Ding will be able to see the birds better.

Nina says goodbye to Buffalo.

Congratulations to Nina for getting a job and moving back to Toledo! We rented a big white "molester van" and packed it like we were playing Tetris. We think we packed the van SO WELL, that it deserved photographic evidence. We were oh so careful to pack the van evenly and securely all while not blocking the back windows. There are no side windows to the van so the rear ones were very important.

Driving a big white molester van proved to be quite fun. In retrospect, I enjoyed parking it the best. I soooo wish I could have documented all of my best/worst parking jobs. Now that would make an exciting blog!! I highly enjoyed seeing all of the fall colors the Northeast has to offer this year. I did not enjoy the Fall Pledge Drive that NPR insisted on torturing me with every 15 minutes.

Best of luck to Nina, I'm sure you will have much more fun in Toledo. I hope you never forget the 6 months you got to learn waaaayyyy too much about coupons , thriftiness (being a cheap ass), energy conservation (living in a cold house), recycling and child discipline.

I also hope you never forget how to give a cat a pill or stop a bloody nose.

Vanilla Wafers Take 1

Here are our 3 attempts at a commercial for Vanilla Wafers. If you can understand the child, she is pronouncing it vanilla wah-fers. She is supposed to be someone coming home to his/her spouse and sharing vanilla wafers with them. I am the unsuspecting spouse who is reviewing our insurance benefits when Ding Ding comes home to share this new cookie with me. This may be in fact the dorkiest thing ever but it was 100% Ding Ding's idea. She has been into commercials lately.

The first video features Ding Ding jumping behind the box of crackers (before I move them) and mumbling a lot.


The second video features me making some constipated face at the beginning.


This last video the dog steals a Vanilla Wafer out of my hand under the table.

Ding Ding is sooo sure she is going to see herself on TV soon just like Billy Mays.

Sarah vs. The Oven

In my last blog, I was cleaning the oven. This was not the most exciting activity ever, but Ding Ding made it really fun this morning. Last night, I purchased some Family Dollar brand oven cleaner and followed the directions for "overnight cleaning". This morning, the kiddo was eating breakfast at the kitchen table while I wiped the oven clean with a "wet rather than a damp cloth or sponge using warm water".

She started her commercial. . . Are you tired of scrubbing? You should try a new amazing scrubber! Just send $95 for your FREE SAMPLE scrubbing brush! Call 874930847562740 Now! I can't say it was word-for-word, but you get the point. It was similar to her comment "You can do it too in three easy steps!" at dinner the other night.

Where does she get it? The kid only watches PBS and Sports. Do they have commercials directed at ladies with dirty ovens? No, but Dr. Phil does. She stopped dead yesterday during Dr. Phil when she heard Billy Mays (The Oxi Clean/Orange Glo/Mighty Putty Guy) screaming his flipping head off about some new household product. She asked just yesterday "Why does he always have to yell?". I tried to explain but before I could finish, there was another commercial featuring our loud friend Billy Mays pitching not another household product, but health insurance!

Update on the Oven: It is mostly clean, but I might try another round of cleaning with the real oven cleaner just to make it perfect before I destroy it again. The baking soda didn't really work that well and isn't all that inexpensive when you buy a can of oven cleaner for $1 at Family Dollar. I was shocked at the ultra thrifty price.

Of course, when I was wiping the grime out of the oven with a paper towel, the kid said "eeeeewwwww gross!". After the zillionth time of hearing this, I considered sticking my head inside the oven. . .not really. . . it's electric.

What Nerds Do on the Weekend

Here are some highlights from the weekend.

1. Ding Ding went to soccer. She claimed it was a "nightmare" for the other team. Ding Ding got partnered up with a very large child that kicks everyone's butt every week. This kid and Ding Ding are equally intense about scoring and lots of high fives were exchanged. Ding Ding scored 2 goals although there is no official score keeping. Heck, these aren't even real games, but Ding Ding doesn't care.

2. We were sarcastically praising Ding Ding's ability at dinner to disassemble and reassemble her sandwich. She did not catch our sarcasm and said "you can do it too in 3 easy steps!".

3. Ding ding was outside in her Bills outfit ("Duck Football" Style) practicing her onside kicks and also retrieving them and scoring. She was passionately coaching herself and the rest of the team. They were playing the Minnesota Vikings. She was wearing some sheer, glittery purple dress-up gloves and said they were her "wide receiver gloves". She soon found out that purple tea party gloves were too slippery and definitely not meant to catch a football and were left by the sideline.

4. She insisted on wearing her football helmet and uniform to walk the dog.

5. We haven't really gone out to dinner in a couple months. I have been using the stove/oven a lot lately now that it isn't sweltering hot. Something spilled all over the bottom of the stove recently and I have only added to the mess. It got really gross. Really really gross. I didn't have any oven cleaner and honestly, I don't have the lungs to withstand some of those fumes. So I googled "natural oven cleaner". I tried several combinations of white vinegar, lemon juice, salt, baking soda and dish soap. None of these concoctions seem to be working all by themselves. My favorite so far is equal parts baking soda, water and salt. Bake at 500 degrees for an hour and scrape the white sheet of crap off the bottom of the oven. The worst of the mess is gone and it is fun to scrape all of the white stuff off of the bottom of the oven. I might try real oven cleaner next time. I am out of salt and baking soda now.

6. We made doughnuts lunch on Saturday (with pizza on the side). These were really fun to make and was definitely the best meal of the weekend. All we did was fry biscuit dough and roll them in cinnamon/sugar or just powdered sugar. They went especially well with cider.

7. Nick and Ding Ding went to a corn maze. They had a good time and Ding Ding gave the Corn Cannon a chance before an all-out panic. The Corn Cannon was not as scary as it sounds. I missed the fun because I wanted to organize the basement. Now I am jealous.

8. Ding Ding's favorite words lately are "Eeeewwww!" and "Gross!". I suspect she picked them up at school, but they are way overused. I might tear my ears off if I have to hear those words again.

Radio-Not the Devil

This is the last blog profiling the fuzzy army in our house. Radio will be moving out soon so I think I might have to replace him. My biological clock is ticking for more litter boxes you know.

I just want to clarify that Radio (my sister's cat) is not the devil despite the awful stories you might hear. Or this terrifying picture. Look at his sharp pointy teeth and beware!
He is a MONSTER!! Just kidding, I just caught him in a yawn. He actually looks like this:


I would love to describe Radio as precocious, but after I looked that up in the dictionary I realize that this term is often mis-used. Did I just mis-use a hyphen? I digress. Radio is a very busy cat. He spends his day sleeping (minimally), scavenging for food, hiding from Cheeseburger and biting.

Lets look at all of these activities in a little more depth:

Sleeping
Radio sleeps but, he seems to sleep less than any other cat. He is a light sleeper because he has to investigate any sounds. He might be more curious than the other two tubs of lard in the house that remain on their fat butts when I come home. Radio runs to the door to check out the situation (and see if you brought home any food). Radio enjoys sleeping on the dining room chairs and in Nina's bed. Right now he is NOT sleeping in the living room window.

Scavenging for Food
000000000000000000000000000 (Leroy just typed that. Thank you Leroy)
Radio is a growing kitty and feels the need to eat everything. He especially enjoys stealing food off of the counter or the dining room table when you are not looking. He likes to eat dog food and also bugs. This cat never stops thinking about food. He loves chips and pizza. He will munch on uncooked spaghetti or egg noodles. He once opened a mini fridge and removed frozen peas for a late night feast. Pop Tarts do not stand a chance unless fiercely guarded or stored in the refrigerator (the kind he can't open). This cat will open the box of Pop Tarts and shred the foil bags just to get at the pastry goodness inside.

Hiding from Cheeseburger
Not only is Radio scared of his own shadow he is also scared of Cheeseburger the Lard. Cheeseburger hated Radio so much he "marked" the entire house just to show Radio that he owns Ding Ding's bed, Ding Ding's bedroom, the bathroom, the coat closet, the living room, the dining room, the basement and the play room (specifically Ding Ding's pirate hat). Radio now will not make sudden movements around Cheeseburger and seeks out confined areas to hide in when Cheeseburger looks at him. One of his recent favorites is behind the toilet. This gives Cheeseburger a perfect opportunity to try to rip his face off. This injury appeared yesterday after Nina left for a trip to Ohio. Notice a dark line next to Radio's nose. Ouch.


It is these types of injuries why Cheeseburger is the one on anti depressants/anxiety drugs. Radio still gets some good shots in although he has his nails trimmed. These next pictures are of Cheeseburger. I admit, they could be twins so don't feel bad if you can't tell them apart. Cheeseburger has some nice scratches on his nose. Luckily, he stopped peeing when we put him on the drugs.


Biting

Radio likes to bite. If it isn't Cheeseburger, Radio will bite it. Radio bites power cords, plastic bags, Leroy, Sarina, Nina, Ding Ding or boxes of Pop Tarts. Most cats will tolerate being picked up even if they are in a rotten mood. You cannot pick up Radio when he is feeling feisty. You get hissed at, growled at and mostly bitten. Nina and Ex-Boyfriend nicknamed him Bitey.

That is the end of the pet torture until we get another one.

Duck football.

The fabulous people at Time Warner Cable and LIN broadcasting are fighting like little brats and now we don't have CBS unless we hook up an antenna. Our antenna is meant for a 13 inch television and we have our mini antenna duct taped to the back of our regular sized TV. Antennas are completely sold out in the Buffalo area so we can't buy a regular sized one. Why does this suck? Aside from not being able to watch How I Met Your Mother and Oprah, we are unable to watch Buffalo Bills football games. Well, we tried to watch, but the picture was really fuzzy. Sooooooo Ding Ding played football with the ducks.

The ducks come to our yard semi regularly and when Ding Ding chases them, they just run in circles around the yard. Ding Ding played "duck football" instead of watching the Bills game this Sunday.










The ducks never left so we fed them for being such good sports.